Douché! Let’s Keep it Clean
By Guy Shepherd
PlannedMan

Want to come out of a conflict smelling like a rosé? Douché!

Douché! Let’s Keep it Clean
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It's called work for a reason; it's not always fun. Those who love their work can't deny the grind, the ground hog repetition. It's hard work. What makes work fun is putting your shoulder behind things that are worthy.
By Guy Shepperd

Highlights


We want to Make Douches Great Again.

Douches have done so much for humanity.

Its present use is back-assward. It’s not ironic; it is dumb.

Douché: a retort delivered with enough wit and savoir-faire that the shower’s recipient cracks a smile (e.g., “Douché, My Friend; well done!”).

Our Plan: Make Douches Great Again. The contemporary, popular use of the word needs refining. It’s a great word that is not used well.

The common, informal use of “douche” is aimed at an obnoxious or contemptible person—typically used by a man as an ad hominem attack on another dude (as in “that guy is such a douche”). This doesn’t seem fair. Douches have done so much for humanity.

History Lesson for Millennials:douche” is French for a “shower of water.” In upside-down places such as New Zealand and French Polynesia, it’s called a bidet—“a device for washing out a vagina.” Same goal: make men’s favorite place better—like a Summer’s Eve!

The PM is decidedly pro-douche, and we are appealing to men’s good sense to join us in a national effort to stop using “douche” improperly.

Its present use is back-assward. It’s not ironic; it is dumb. We are attributing “douche” to a dirty vagina or cunt of a man in need of a douche.

Our Proposed Solution:

The PM is decidedly pro-douche, and we are appealing to men’s good sense to join us in a national effort to stop using “douche” improperly.

Douché: a conflation of touché—a term “used as an acknowledgment during a discussion of a good or clever point made at one’s expense by another person.” …also used in fencing when a sword fighter strikes or stabs their opponent.

The proper, PM use of “douché” is when you call attention to another’s social foul at their expense—it’s said for a reason—but delivered with enough wit and savoir-faire that the shower’s recipient cracks a smile (e.g., “Douché, My Friend; well done!”).

The Hygiene Brothers: douche and douché together make that which they touch better. They are in alignment—showers of water and wit that keep away unwanted odors. It’s a term of truth in jest art, in response to overly Alpha or mangina-odorous emissions. A couple of well-played “douchés” can clean the air in a friendship—short of a clarifying fight or bro break-up.

It’s an art form Australians have raised to a cultural vernacular. (Aussies are masters at “douché.”)

“What I love about Guy is that he is a slow burn,” my buddy, Craig, said at the conclusion of a rant I was on. (He’s an exemplary representative of that penal nation.)

“Douché, Dundee. I am a raging dumpster fire. Well done,” I countered.

Join the douché revolution—spray it forward.

Best,

Guy

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